I
I felt the words abandon me one day
Nothingness
Seeped into the sea that hides inside
Silence soaked the paper, stifled cries
II
A picture of shifting dunes, I am
A wanton thing, feeding the strays,
I squeeze out the remnants of life,
For them to prey on and play on my sands
I bury them too when the time comes
Making a game for the next stray
III
It's not sane to feel this way
Of how easily I can be crushed
Like a cockroach
Still better than pretending otherwise
IV
Can I borrow your heart
If only
To soak in your warmth
Feel it
Settle in my chest
Like homecoming
V
It’s hard to abandon
The worlds I create
Aware of stagnation
A miserable fate
That anchors me
To this reality
Yet I waste my time
Imagining the lives
I could live instead
VI
There’s eternity
in creation
— why wait?
VII
The world is saturated
With things unexplained
Yet you examine fiction as a lie
VIII
What would an ocean of sadness look like?
Would it be calm, no waves or tides
An entity of eternal stillness
Or would it have storms brewing
Unable to hide the anger within
IX
You think you deserve grace
You?
Who condemned me to pain
Of frightful nights, dysphoric days
Now you have amends to make
Seek salvation in absolution
Your last act of cruelty,
This debt
For I must forgive and forget
But tell me, my love
Have you forgiven yourself yet?
X
Don’t seek me,
The more you dig,
You’ll find the remains
Of life and decay
My creations,
And their little games
I nourish them,
As they tear open each other,
A tribute of flesh
To pay me back…
Don’t seek to understand me,
I am just a stage,
For this cosmic play