I
Something has to be done.
You can't just scream at the skies,
Peel the fabric that blinds,
The very impossibilities of life.
Plunge into an abyss unknown,
Oh, the treasures you will find
In these mines of great hopes
And disasters foretold.
But when has the sin of curiosity
Ever stopped you before?
Grab the beckoning love and
Live with the shame of the known.
II
Love,
I am void… and dark-
-ness that I hold
It is cold
And you, the warmth
Of a thousand stars
See, it entices,
And I
A cimmerian moth
Flies into your arms
III
I gripped the steering wheel,
Eyes frantically moving
In the chaos of traffic.
I felt at ease, at home.
I know chaos,
But then you asked
To take charge.
“Yes, you can,” I said,
Sitting beside you.
My nails dug into my arms,
To get to see chaos from afar
And not sit in the eye of the storm.
You see, that’s not what my life
Had prepared me for at all.
IV
The curse of being born
With all these stories within
My mind
V
I wake up to the light,
Breeze through a field of flowers,
And I sink, I sink,
Sinking below the flowers.
The leaves brush my face,
Stained red from the thorns
That hide in the night.
VI
This urge to turn my skin inside out
while I drag through
this wretched, wretched life.
VII
You have become a constant for me. Like a lighthouse, that a pirate seeks in the turbulent waters of life.
VIII
Sometimes I do not know
How to act
In my own room,
In my space,
In my body.
IX
Even if I paint the war
That colours my heart
Red as blood
It still won't be the correct shade
X
You start to feel that you are better
Better than before
But then it hits you
again
Your heart betrays you
Again
It aches
Again
And you are a fool
Again
With every step you take out of the hell
You rejoice
Until you hit rock bottom
again