I
At the witching hour
Before birds come out to play
I am awake
Amidst the printed leaves
I pray for it to soak
The uneasiness, leftover
From previous day
But then the creaking house
Warns
It is time,
For the morning ritual to end
II
in another time
we could have been
so much more yet I (we?)
carry the flames
an eternal war
just to be consumed
knowing,
it’s not the last
we’ve been touched
by love
III
would you lose your soul
in my abandoned mind-
palaces, and wonder
at mishappen domes. They
don't rile me anymore
we could sit and marvel
at unfinished towers, or
would you lose your soul
to redeem mine,
make it whole
?
IV
all this anxiety
you'd think fear
is a trigger
but no,
i conjure it
out of thin air
in what i believe
is chrome--
colour і have tried
to hide
with the anvil of beliefs
but it returns,
always
to sit with me
V
silence saturates
the very fabric of hell,
she thinks
every emotion
tainted, hushed
as the sinner bleeds
thoughts into nothing
and be silent
in their screams,
how frustrating,
she looks around–
I’m in hell
in silence, she sinks
VI
I want
To paint and to write
Stories of great delight
And some epics
Where the heroes die
There’s so much that goes
on in my mind
I only wish to have poured it all
Before I too melt
And become one with the stories
I tell
VII
What do I have to do
To get a morsel of love
Unconditioned
To whom I beg…
Oh I will
To feel some warmth
Just a little
In this corpse body of mine
VIII
In how many languages
Do I have to scream
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
IX
You have no idea how tempting it is
To feel the tip of the first blade
Pierce my heart
Just to embrace nothingness
X
I worry
That one day death will take me in its embrace
My kin will burn me in ritual and my ashes
My ashes will spread in the universe
But each atom that has made me
Will still suffer
I worry
The next million other things they make
Will carry the curse too
A cycle of tragedy
For eternity