I
I waited for grief to follow
your absence
you left me with something worse
a chasm that brims over with emptiness
how could I envelop it (or you) in my poems?
See, instead of mourning, I'm stuck
with reminders of pain I should feel
Oh, but you left me with something worse...
II
days racked
with sobs, eased into
suffocating roar...
grappling nature,
the sapling grew
III
I’m born to be lost
existing in anticipation
of things that are
to feel so much
of everything
disorienting
until it is all out
as words,
the knot loosens
somewhat
until it is time to
begin as a new act
IV
Speak misery
For they have seen
The devil in you
The very creature
You feared, loathed
Your whole life
V
The crime of a broken heart
No eyewitness
No weapons
Who would believe
When there is no blood
Just stench of putrefaction
VI
When you paint me
Love
Will you borrow
Colours
From madness, or my misery
Underneath
I wonder
VII
at the edge of the world, I am
awaiting the fall,
I have been led to this moment,
told it is my call
so with bated breath,
I jump into the abyss below
paint me beautiful, will you?
pouring down from heaven’s door
VIII
I leave traces
of myself
— undiscovered
IX
if emptiness
was an emotion
i
could fill an ocean
it's just too much
to contain
X
It's been so long
since I traced the words
in my messy scrawl
and not in an imitation
of yours